Avast ye, mateys, for I set me eyes on a sight like no other, the fantastical smuggler’s den of Coalbeard the Pirate, a black-hearted scalleywag if ever there were! Cap’n Coalbeard be takin’ his hoarded treasure an’ craftin’ himself a port o’ call, a haven for the dastardliest dogs this side o’ Farside. His cove be open to the public, for any crusty barnacles that be lookin’ for some sight-seein’ today!
Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle o’ slush! We be wishin’ ye fair skies and a followin’ solar wind today, ye scurvy scallywags!